We had the Mock Trial competition yesterday . . . second place. Oh, well. You can't win at everything. I could tell you every last detail (like about how we totally should have won) (or how we beat the other Hamilton team in the semifinals HA IN YOUR FACES), but that would probably bore you to death and I don't have a big enough attention span to do that.
On an unrelated note, I am loving this weather.
Editification: I have nothing else to do and thus will continue to try to remember as best I can the events of yesterday's mock trial competition.
Everyone arrived feeling very nervous, not at all helped by the ever-so professional looking team with suits and briefcases. We checked in and anxiously awaited the first trial, for which we would be plaintiff. I am a lawyer for the plaintiff=even more nervous.
Finally, we got our courtroom assignments. Upon getting there, we notice that we are against the previously mentioned ever-so professional looking team with suits and briefcases. Gulp. It turns out they are from Jefferson. From the bits of their discussion I overheard, however, they seemed to be not as prepared for defense as they were for plaintiff. The trial goes without any big huge oh my gosh events, except THEY ARE GOOD. We put up a good fight, and in the end actually feel fairly confident we did well.
For the next trial, we are facing the other Jefferson team. They are WAY less smart, as they apparently have been switching team members pretty much since the beginning. The witnesses don't remember their written testimonies and lie, and we are almost positive that we won.
For the first two trials, it didn't actually matter who won or lost. It was a total number of points. There were twelve teams to begin with, only four would be eliminated before the next round. We stayed in.
Our third trial we were plaintiff again, for the same judge (who liked the fact that I had taken his previous advice and not talked super super fast). We were going against sixth graders who had everything memorized but talked with no emotion whatsoever. THEY WERE SO CUTE, especially the little kid I cross-examined, who had this adorable little speech impediment. He was like "I never knew she was being tweated with stewoids" and I just wanted to go "ahahahaha tweated with stewoids" but instead remained lawyer-like and mean. From the judge's comments at the end, we were thinking we lost. We would not find out if we had advanced to the semifinals until after lunch.
In the lunch line, I see someone who I hated from elementary school. Pretty funny. We also got to know the Jefferson team who we played first, and they turned out to be super friendly/nice. Some people from our team went over to the union and our coach taught us a sweet card game that we played looking out over the lake. Oh, how picturesque.
After lunch, we discovered to our relief that we would be playing in the semifinals . . . against the other Hamilton team. Crap. It was pretty funny, considering we had the same coaches and fairly similar examinations. Someone actually was about to object before a question was asked because they knew what was coming. Such is life.
We finished the semifinals way way way before the other people (cool Jefferson team and a team from Wright). In an attempt to find out where they were, we went into their courtroom and got a severe scolding from the Jefferson coach. When they were done, the Jefferson team told us that the other team had been super objecty and so-so in terms of skill.
You can guess what happened - we were to play in the finals against Wright, and Jefferson went against the other Hamilton team in a consolation match for third.
Then, the moment I will always regret: the coin toss to see which side we would be. I would call it in the air. I said heads. WHY DID I NOT REMEMBER, "TAILS NEVER FAILS"? It was tails. They chose to be plaintiff, meaning I could not do anything to contribute to our victory or defeat. It was all up to our defense.
They were okay, nothing special. Same with us. But our witnesses (me and someone else) were SWEET on cross. See, the case is about a nurse who saw steroids in someone's gym bag. I was the nurse.
Lawyer: "Did you open your daughter's bag?"
Me: "No, I opened Betty's by mistake."
"What did you see in the bag?"
"Betty's medicine"
"Did you notice that the things in the bag weren't your daughter's?"
"Well, the medicine was on top of the stuff, and that's what I noticed first."
"Are you saying you didn't notice the things you were looking through weren't your daughter's?"
WTF? Were you not listening?"No, the steroids were at the top of the bag."
"Permission to approach the witness."
They got permission. The only reason they would do that is to show me my written testimony to prove that I'm wrong.
OH SHIT SHIT SHIT. Did I misremember something? Is misremember even a word?They read me something that was total bullcrap and had no effect on me. Then they were all
"When you made this statement, you didn't think it necessary to include the fact that the steroids were on the top of the bag?"
"No."
Thinking back, I totally should have said, "Well, I didn't say anything about the steroids' location, and I think it would have been more important to say if they were at the bottom of the bag. Therefore, I think it's safer to assume that they were at the top." Plus it turns out my testimony says I unzipped the bag and saw the steroids. Whatever. I was still cool.
Then the thrilling moment: the awards ceremony. First, award for best attorney went to someone on the other Hamilton team. It was a stupid award, considering not everyone was an attorney an equal number of times. Whatever. Then the Jefferson team won third, and the Wright team won first. That's about all there is to it.
And I really like
EarthDesk.
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